 As a domestic violence advocate and blogger I wanted to share a little piece of my story. Before I even married the person who abused me throughout my pregnancy I had 2 red flags. The very first argument we had was when he broke my flat iron. He was so angry he threw it across the room and it broke. I was so devastated because I knew that was wrong of him. How dare he break something I spent my hard earned money. He immediately apologized and told me he would buy me a new one. Welp that never happened. But that was my very first red flag and I refused to see it as a red flag at the time.
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 The first time a mother listens to her child’s heartbeat becomes one of the first times she bonds with her unborn child. The Doppler pictured above is a tool that can be purchased online to check an unborn babies heartbeat. As an excited first time mother I bought this not knowing I would rely on it so much. It came to a point where using the Doppler wasn’t just to hear my sons heartbeat but to make sure he was alive. YES! Alive!
 One thing is to joke around and be playful and another is to be a straight hater friend. Yes a hater friend or friendenemy, whatever people call it but you get it. Let’s look up the definition of that type of “friend.” Hater friend: Someone that is not genuinely happy for you; tends to be negative Nancy; lowkey bully’s you; someone that doesn’t believe in you etc. you get the point or do you really?!
 The battle between you and your thoughts. They say the mind is a powerful thing and it can be persuasive, strong, yet vulnerable. The importance of mental health is crucial. Mental health is sometimes not taken as seriously as it should. It can take a series of events or just one traumatic event to affect the state of mind. Regardless of the matter it’s something that NEEDS to be addressed. It’s needs to be spoken about. Let’s stop making it a taboo to speak about mental health.
 Ever tell a friend you’re going through something and their response is dull? Or their response was something about them to make your situation look better?! Have you ever been around certain people/friends/family and you’re talking to them about some of your goals and you just sense the low key hate?! Just when you thought those that are supposed to be in your corner really aren’t and you find this out the hard way. Ladies stick to people that are rooting for you and are supportive.
 It begins with the romantic, sweet, caring ways. Beautiful future plans and how life will be perfect together. No one can compare. Spending endless amount of time together. The ultimate relationship goals. But is it really “relationship goals” when abuse, cheating, and deceiving behavior is involved?? Is it something to look forward to when the relationship is toxic?! Toxic relationships can kill a person mentally, emotionally and even literally. The unhealthiness is visible.
 Whether you love or hate her she says the craziest, realist, funniest things. Many have emphasized on some lyrics where she states “I gave you more than I give myself. So loyal to you that I betray myself.” Cardi B saying that in one of her songs, hit home for many women. It’s a downfall that many women have lived where they have given their all to the wrong person. Those women that have been in domestic violence relationships know this line right here could do something to the soul.
 Who doesn’t love a discount? You go to the store and say ooohh this shirt is on sale for 50% off I’m going to get it. For the makeup lovers they love to get a sale on high end makeup. For those in general who just love a bargain, it’s a good pick me up to get it on “sale” instead of paying full price for it. But there are some items that women don’t care how much it costs they will still get it no matter what the cost is. Ladies why aren’t we like that with our own value?
 Excuses. Protection. Guilt. These are some of the simple words that describe what someone in an abusive relationship does. Excuses are made for their abusers behavior. "He had a rough day." Protection and excuses go hand in hand. "He's a great dad, he would never harm his kids." A sense of guilt is there because the abuser has made it clear that everything is the victims fault. The victim no matter what tries to make it all better. She will avoid certain things not to "trigger" him. The walking on eggshells happens more and more frequently. Verbal abuse escalates to physical abuse. Hiding scars becomes the new norm. Most of the time she has "I can fix this/him syndrome."
 In a world full of frauds be an authentic! Society has made it so easy to be "fake happy" or if it wasn't posted online it never happened. Not everything needs to be put out there. It's ok to have privacy and do things that the world doesn't need to see. Seeking for validation...from who? For what? The number of likes doesn't make you a better a person. It's ok to do you without having to worry about who likes what you're doing or who doesn't like what you're doing. Everyone has highs and lows in life that's part of life but it doesn't all need to be put on front street.
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