City girls up 1000! Las toxicas as my Latinas would call it! (toxic girls in Spanish) Hoe is life! These are all ways of trauma bonding with friends. Yes, with friends. Most of the time trauma bonding is associated with a toxic romantic relationship. No one talks about trauma bonding with friends and those toxic traits. There is a level of toxicity with friends that we don't consider trauma bonding because they are friends. Are all friends healthy friends??? Would you be associated with those friends if it weren't for that trauma bond? Have you outgrown friends but keep them around because they don't hold you accountable? Lets normalize not trauma bonding with our own friends! Here are 3 signs that you are trauma bonding with friends and you may not even realize it.
Ignoring their toxic behavior. - We tend to ignore toxic behavior for several reasons we may have experienced the same issues as our friends or we don't want them to feel like they are wrong. Whether it be heartbreak, divorce, even being a single mom things that have caused trauma. So what ends up happening is we ignore the behavior because we too are behaving in that manner. So it may be something that you may or may not be aware of being wrong but we feed into it.
Cheering them on and encouraging toxicity. Hoe is life is an example of encouraging our friends to continue their self destructive path is a form of trauma bonding. "Girl it's ok live your best life." But is that living your best life by continuing unhealthy behavior? Encouraging friends to continue to be toxic because they are hurt is not ok and is a form of being a toxic friend.
Seeking attention and validating toxic behaviors. Whether you are the one displaying the toxic traits or your friend(s) there is a form of attention seeking behavior that both parties are feeding into. If your group text isn't positive and uplifting then re-evaluate the group text because there may be some unhealthy tendencies in there. Getting validation from friends is already a red flag and then to add fuel to the fire you add city girl ways to it doesn't help the cause.
Starting your healing journey is living your best life! City girls up 1000 is actually focusing, healing, and working on self love. There is no need to bash or to join forces to make yourself or your friends feel better in a toxic way. Encourage your girls to get help and go to therapy. Help each other out by focusing on mental health. You can relate to each other without encouraging unhealthy behavior. Let's really turn things around and push through things in positive way. Remember there is no love like self love!