City girls up 1000! Las toxicas as my Latinas would call it! (toxic girls in Spanish) Hoe is life! These are all ways of trauma bonding with friends. Yes, with friends. Most of the time trauma bonding is associated with a toxic romantic relationship. No one talks about trauma bonding with friends and those toxic traits. There is a level of toxicity with friends that we don't consider trauma bonding because they are friends. Are all friends healthy friends??? Would you be associated with those friends if it weren't for that trauma bond? Have you outgrown friends but keep them around because they don't hold you accountable? Lets normalize not trauma bonding with our own friends! Here are 3 signs that you are trauma bonding with friends and you may not even realize it.
Let's face it we all have a story to tell. We are all authors of our own book. Most stories have a plot twist and nothing ever goes as planned. Even on the road to stardom there's at least one bump in the road. So why be ashamed of your story?! There is no need to feel shame. Own your story, it's yours and no one else's.
At what point of our lives do we give up on our dreams? At what point do we stop having drive and ambition? At what point do we stop achieving our goals and we just exist in this world? Is it when someone insecure tells us that we can't? Or is it when we let life get in the way? Or is it our unresolved childhood traumas affecting us? It can be any or all of the above but the point is DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR PURPOSE. There are people that live their entire lives just existing and they don't even truly know what their purpose is.
Let's just get straight to the point on this one....In lieu of DV awareness let's address the abusers that like to deny they are abusive. This is a letter from all of those that have endured abuse and have not received the proper justice! This is for those that like to LIE and DENY the fact that they are or have ever been abusive! This is for those we have lost due to domestic violence and the abusers still have the nerve to put excuses or plead not guilty.
Ladies we have a tendency to give our all and have wishful thinking that Mr. Wrong will change. We also have a habit of thinking we can change Mr. Wrong. We then really hold on if there are kids involved because we don’t want to raise them in a “broken” home. We compromise our self worth, time, energy, lack of appreciation all for the wrong person and then we become guarded. That trauma leads to us putting up a wall and it becomes nearly impossible for anyone to break that wall down. But why don’t we just turn that negative experience into a positive?! Here are some pointers how:
Trauma! Not drama but trauma let’s talk about it. We always talk about the things to avoid, red flags, and toxicity but let’s talk about the aftermath of trauma. How do we survive trauma? How do we heal from pain that isn’t our fault? How do we live a life after dealing with a traumatic experience?
The internet feels that the word 'toxic' has been an overused term. People are trying to become more self aware and genuinely don't want any toxic people in their lives. No toxic relationships, no time for toxic friendships, and no toxic work environments. Not sure how its an overused term when in reality people are now becoming more aware or as some would say "woke." What is the issue with actually addressing toxicity?!
Gut wrenching! There is no other way to describe this letter that a 7-year old boy living in a domestic violence shelter with his mother has written. This 7-year old boy could have been my son had I decided to stay in an abusive relationship. Children see, feel, and experience domestic violence in their homes a lot more than people may think. His letter has gone viral and just at 7-years old he has impacted and touched the lives of many. He is courageous for expressing himself to 'Santa' the way he did. It is also interesting to see the items he asked for, he didn't ask for anything major did he?!
Ahh there is nothing like calling up your best friend and telling her the latest tea! Having a sister from another mister is pretty awesome it's like the sister that you were able to select yourself. Some best friends last a season and others last a lifetime whichever the case it's someone that knows either most or all of your life. Imagine being inseparable but a Mr. comes into her picture and things start to change. When things begin to get serious your bestie is spending less time with you and more time with her beau. Whether you have someone in your life or not things do change. But what if you are just not that into the guy that your best friend is dating?! Here are a few tips on how to handle not being a huge fan of your best friends boo.
“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.” (Unknown) We all know we have the same 24 hours as Queen Bee, but do we have her confidence?! Confidence isn’t something that comes easy but imagine that feeling of being free. Confidence is liberating from what anyone has to say. Your glow is completely different when your self reassurance is at 100!